Ninja / Trouble -
I feel heavy this morning. Not in weight, but in words. At dinner with friends last night the subject of crying came up and i flippantly asked each person when they’d last cried - not simply sprinkled tears - but created a rainstorm to be reckoned with. The answers shocked me; ‘I can’t remember’, ‘2 years ago when my mom died’, ‘probably never’. Of course, in return, they asked me the same question to which i quietly replied - it’s probably been about 3 weeks - and i feel the need brewing inside me. Needless to say i raised a few eyebrows.
My biggest asset is also my biggest flaw - my passion burns me up sometimes and i have to let excess out. So i create a safe environment, and i cry. And i cry. Until i feel better. This morning i found a mentally safe place and let go. I pressed my arms and my body against the windows in my living room and looked out on my little piece of the world. It hardly seems enough to house all the emotions i have inside me/
“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it is over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
I enjoy the variety we receive on weeks with out themes, it’s always interesting to read and see what inspires everyone. Lioness dear there is nothing to be ashamed of about crying, it is a very beneficial release and it’s good for everyone. Thanks for being so honest and sharing your writing, your submission and this poem.