Anonymous

I consider myself a very sexual person, but I've only been with one person and, to say the least, he was disappointing. I've felt very strong attractions to women, too, but I'm scared to pursue those desires. I grew up with a homophobic and cruel father and while I know that me sleeping with another woman wouldn't be wrong, I still have this weird nagging feeling that I'm doing something wrong by thinking about it. I'm also terrified that I'd be bad at it.

What is more important to you? Living up to the expectations and criticisms of someone whose opinion you know is wrong, or being truly happy in your life and expressing yourself as you are? At some point we have to stop being subservient to our parents’ world view and trusting in our own needs as adults. As for being bad at it, women are very understanding creatures. So I’m sure anyone who you got involved with that knew it was new for you would help to guide you. You already know what you like on yourself so it’s easy to keep that in mind when you’re pleasuring another person. 
-Trouble

Anonymous

My boyfriend have been together for only 3 months, but we already have the best sex of my life and are talking about living together and perhaps getting married. Do you think it is too soon?

I’d advise not to get ahead of yourselves by discussing marriage so soon, it’s a big commitment and a step that you should definitely work towards. I know it’s exciting to talk about these things but it’s important to also to be realistic. As for moving in, I moved in with Ninja after just three months of dating so I can’t really criticize. Just be sure you’d be compatible room mates before doing so and be ready to face the challenge of moving out if it doesn’t work. Take it day by day, life is long and there’s no rush. 
-Trouble

Anonymous

What do you think about stretch marks? Does it usually turn a guy off significantly?

If it’s turning a guy off then he’s got his priorities wrong. Stretch marks are normal and beautiful. I love mine and would hope any person I am with feels the same.
-Trouble

Anonymous

My partner and I have been together for nearly two years now. Next month he is moving out of state for work. While he would like to try a long distance relationship, I feel that we have frazzled out. I don't know how to tell him delicately...

Remember that a goodbye face to face is better than one over the phone and though breakups are never easy it’ll be way better for your boyfriend to know he’s leaving starting fresh than to get to a new place and then have his relationship fall apart on him. It’s important to be as honest as possible about your needs and happiness and don’t leave out all of the positive things about your relationship that made it worth the two years you were together. If you’re feeling like you’ve lost interest in the relationship it wouldn’t be fair to stay in it for either of you so just sit him down for a conversation and be honest with him, it’s the nicest thing you can do for someone. 
-Trouble

w0lfmother

My boyfriend and I have been considering the prospect of living with each other more and more recently. What would you say is the hardest obstacle in your opinion when it comes to moving in together?

Not that it’s really a bad thing, but one of the only issues that I’ve experienced since moving in is wanting to spend all of our time together and not making as much time to see friends. It’s important to balance a healthy social life and spend time apart as much as together. It’s very easy to become a homebody and just spend all your time with your partner at home, but alone time is very important too. 
-Trouble

Anonymous

NN, my girlfriend of two years went on a study abroad in Denmark. Before she left i brought up the idea that she could have sex with one guy while she was out there (the idea of her still receiving sexual pleasure when I am unable to give it to her thrilled me) When she did this and told me(details and everything) it made me incredibly depressed. I didn't react in the aroused way i thought i would. I am frightened that I may begin to resent her. How could she want another man? Why did I do this?

Well you have absolutely no reason to resent her, so I’d stop worrying about that. You mention that you brought up the idea of her being with someone else, so she simply followed through with your suggestion. So the only person at fault here is you, I’d take this as a lesson learned. On paper all sorts of things can sound exciting and sexy but when put in practice they can end up being not very enjoyable after all. And it’s totally normal for anyone to have thoughts or desires for other people, and since you suggested and gave her permission she was totally in the right by hooking up with someone else. It’s not the end of the world, sex is sex, it’s not a big deal. If you both still want to be together that’s the most important part, and know you’ll appreciate her monogamy much more. 

Anonymous

Is it unattractive for a guy to have sex with a girl who shaves but is spiky? My fuck buddy wants to have sex with me more often but I don't like him seeing me when I'm not clean shaved because I get nervous that he's going to feel it and not want me anymore.

News flash, guys have to deal with having stubble too and any guy who shaves his face is aware of what it feels like and how fast hair grows back. If you prefer to be shaved and he doesn’t want you over something as simple as a bit of hair that likely won’t be there the next time you see him then he needs to adjust his expectations.
-Trouble 

Anonymous

Hello NN&Trouble. I'm sorta liking this girl a huge amount/ kinda in love but she just seemed interested the first few months. Now we rarely talk and when we do it's through messages. She rarely tries to message me and i feel so sad, down that i don't know what to do. What would be the best thing to do?

Get to know what’s going on in her life. If she’s interested in other people, or going through something, or just focusing on herself and not putting energy towards others. Put out the effort to see what she’s up to and show you care. If there’s a chance you two have chemistry still it’s just as likely to develop out of a friendship than out of the blue. 
-Trouble

Anonymous

How do you explain what the NN bracelet is to those that need to ask? Only been following for a few weeks, is it too early to get one?

It depends who you’re talking to and how much you’re willing to share. I’ve found it can be an interesting conversation piece if you explain it’s the logo for a blog that supports body positivity and sexuality. Or you can always lie and say it stands for whatever you want. Have some fun with acronyms. 
-Trouble

Anonymous

Hi I recently hooked up a guy from uni and he was the first guy I did anything with since i broke up with my ex of three years. it was made clear that it was a one off thing but I can't help but feel attached to him for some reason. how should I get over it? I know he doesn't want to do anything more and it probably isn't the right thing for me to do either but I just can't stop thinking about it :/

This is totally normal behavior, and it requires some effort to get around it. Our society teaches us about sex being sacred, and most of us are ingrained to feel an overwhelming romantic/relationship connection to people we have sex with. But ideally you want to feel a caring connection where you respect and understand each others emotions and feelings. So instead of focusing on this guy, focus on your studies, focus on your friends, focus on having fun and if a situation comes up where it would be good to invite the guy than do it. Or you can wait for him to make the next move. The more partners you have the easier it will be to separate your emotions from a casual situation. 

groovy-objectx

You're beautiful.

So is your mom. 

The last thing the world needs is more bad pornography
ohcomely1

I failed my driving test today :'( and all I want to do is hide in bed with my favourite person. But he's not here. So I'm enjoying your blog instead xo

The only thing constant is NN. 

Anonymous

maaan im so sad my submission didnt get posted :*(

Don’t be sad about that Trouble and I were very busy on Sunday and we ran out of time to share most of the submissions, plus the world is full of real things to be sad about. 

Anonymous

Me and my (ex)boyfriend of two years just split up. He was my first and towards the end of our relationship the sex wasn't all that great or consistent. Now that I'm finally single and free I can't wait to start exploring my own sexuality and sex with new partners. What kind of advice do you have for "getting out there"?

The best advice I can give you is to take your time, the more time you spend getting to know potential new partners the more you’ll be sure they are someone that cares about you and that you can trust. And I suggest you try the same thing as the lady before, be social and get involved with the things you enjoy and you’ll meet people that you know you have one thing in common with and hopefully it will grow from there.