My partner and I have been together for nearly two years now. Next month he is moving out of state for work. While he would like to try a long distance relationship, I feel that we have frazzled out. I don't know how to tell him delicately...

Remember that a goodbye face to face is better than one over the phone and though breakups are never easy it’ll be way better for your boyfriend to know he’s leaving starting fresh than to get to a new place and then have his relationship fall apart on him. It’s important to be as honest as possible about your needs and happiness and don’t leave out all of the positive things about your relationship that made it worth the two years you were together. If you’re feeling like you’ve lost interest in the relationship it wouldn’t be fair to stay in it for either of you so just sit him down for a conversation and be honest with him, it’s the nicest thing you can do for someone. 


My boyfriend and I have been considering the prospect of living with each other more and more recently. What would you say is the hardest obstacle in your opinion when it comes to moving in together?

Not that it’s really a bad thing, but one of the only issues that I’ve experienced since moving in is wanting to spend all of our time together and not making as much time to see friends. It’s important to balance a healthy social life and spend time apart as much as together. It’s very easy to become a homebody and just spend all your time with your partner at home, but alone time is very important too. 


NN, my girlfriend of two years went on a study abroad in Denmark. Before she left i brought up the idea that she could have sex with one guy while she was out there (the idea of her still receiving sexual pleasure when I am unable to give it to her thrilled me) When she did this and told me(details and everything) it made me incredibly depressed. I didn't react in the aroused way i thought i would. I am frightened that I may begin to resent her. How could she want another man? Why did I do this?

Well you have absolutely no reason to resent her, so I’d stop worrying about that. You mention that you brought up the idea of her being with someone else, so she simply followed through with your suggestion. So the only person at fault here is you, I’d take this as a lesson learned. On paper all sorts of things can sound exciting and sexy but when put in practice they can end up being not very enjoyable after all. And it’s totally normal for anyone to have thoughts or desires for other people, and since you suggested and gave her permission she was totally in the right by hooking up with someone else. It’s not the end of the world, sex is sex, it’s not a big deal. If you both still want to be together that’s the most important part, and know you’ll appreciate her monogamy much more. 


Is it unattractive for a guy to have sex with a girl who shaves but is spiky? My fuck buddy wants to have sex with me more often but I don't like him seeing me when I'm not clean shaved because I get nervous that he's going to feel it and not want me anymore.

News flash, guys have to deal with having stubble too and any guy who shaves his face is aware of what it feels like and how fast hair grows back. If you prefer to be shaved and he doesn’t want you over something as simple as a bit of hair that likely won’t be there the next time you see him then he needs to adjust his expectations.


Hello NN&Trouble. I'm sorta liking this girl a huge amount/ kinda in love but she just seemed interested the first few months. Now we rarely talk and when we do it's through messages. She rarely tries to message me and i feel so sad, down that i don't know what to do. What would be the best thing to do?

Get to know what’s going on in her life. If she’s interested in other people, or going through something, or just focusing on herself and not putting energy towards others. Put out the effort to see what she’s up to and show you care. If there’s a chance you two have chemistry still it’s just as likely to develop out of a friendship than out of the blue. 


How do you explain what the NN bracelet is to those that need to ask? Only been following for a few weeks, is it too early to get one?

It depends who you’re talking to and how much you’re willing to share. I’ve found it can be an interesting conversation piece if you explain it’s the logo for a blog that supports body positivity and sexuality. Or you can always lie and say it stands for whatever you want. Have some fun with acronyms. 


Hi I recently hooked up a guy from uni and he was the first guy I did anything with since i broke up with my ex of three years. it was made clear that it was a one off thing but I can't help but feel attached to him for some reason. how should I get over it? I know he doesn't want to do anything more and it probably isn't the right thing for me to do either but I just can't stop thinking about it :/

This is totally normal behavior, and it requires some effort to get around it. Our society teaches us about sex being sacred, and most of us are ingrained to feel an overwhelming romantic/relationship connection to people we have sex with. But ideally you want to feel a caring connection where you respect and understand each others emotions and feelings. So instead of focusing on this guy, focus on your studies, focus on your friends, focus on having fun and if a situation comes up where it would be good to invite the guy than do it. Or you can wait for him to make the next move. The more partners you have the easier it will be to separate your emotions from a casual situation. 


You're beautiful.

So is your mom. 

The last thing the world needs is more bad pornography

I failed my driving test today :'( and all I want to do is hide in bed with my favourite person. But he's not here. So I'm enjoying your blog instead xo

The only thing constant is NN. 


maaan im so sad my submission didnt get posted :*(

Don’t be sad about that Trouble and I were very busy on Sunday and we ran out of time to share most of the submissions, plus the world is full of real things to be sad about. 


Me and my (ex)boyfriend of two years just split up. He was my first and towards the end of our relationship the sex wasn't all that great or consistent. Now that I'm finally single and free I can't wait to start exploring my own sexuality and sex with new partners. What kind of advice do you have for "getting out there"?

The best advice I can give you is to take your time, the more time you spend getting to know potential new partners the more you’ll be sure they are someone that cares about you and that you can trust. And I suggest you try the same thing as the lady before, be social and get involved with the things you enjoy and you’ll meet people that you know you have one thing in common with and hopefully it will grow from there. 


Hello! I've been following you for a while, I really enjoy your blog and I am anxious to find someone to share my interests with. I was wondering if you have any way for your followers to find each other (besides recognizing your merchandise because I haven't had any luck there). I wish there was just a map or something so we could see if there were any ninjas in our area!

A ninja map app would be pretty awesome, but I don’t think were there yet. The best way to let others know you’re interested is taking part in SS. In your write up you can mention what part of the world you’re in, and hopefully other ninjas close by will message you. I’d suggest you not be too specific in your write up and wait till you find someone you feel you can trust and connect with before you share more details about your location. Also a great way to meet people who share your interests is to pursue your interests, get involved with the things you enjoy and you’ll meet people who enjoy the same things. Good luck. 


I ordered an NN bracelet and I'm so excited to get it and wear it around, AND in case you didn't hear already the 3nder app is out -- it's like grinder or tinder for orchestrating threesomes and it's super rad !!

Oh wow, that’s sweet thanks for ordering your NN bracelet and letting us know about 3nder I get asked a lot about how to find a partner for a threesome so now I’ve got a go to answer. 


Today I got tested for HIV at pride and I was so relieved that I tested negative. 3 years ago when I was 16 I was raped by 3 or 4 guys, I can't recall because I was very drunk and out of it, and at one point unconscious. I was pretty sure that condoms were used, but I've always been anxious about it and so scared to tell anyone. I'm so glad I got tested today and now I just feel like I've dropped the weight on my chest, and it's so great.

It’s great that you finally took that step to get tested. I hope you can fully relax and feel safer knowing the outcome. Thanks for sharing your story with us I hope other ninjas who were unsure took the initiative and were tested this week also. I wish everyone the best.