My last morning with her began with us laying back to back, we argued our selves to sleep the night before. After a nice dinner of home made sushi, during our discussion she mentioned how much she misses her friends at home and how she can’t wait to see them. After avoiding the argument all week I finally brought it up asking, “what did I do to make you not miss me? This whole week I’ve felt like you barely wanted me here” she told me that she did want me there but it was hard for her to just fall back into intimacy with me. She said that the actual distance between us made it hard for her to feel close, and the fake intimacy we had during her first month away did not help the real distance, she found her self clinging to her computer hoping to communicate with the people she cared about on the other side of the world and after missing me so much during that time she decided that she had to emotionally detach her self from me and everything else at home so she could start fresh in spain and have more physical and emotional energy to invest in her new friends and surroundings. I told her that I understand but just wish she could have told me that over skype a month ago instead of having me quit my job and travel across the world thinking we were going to fall back into the relationship we left each other with. She told me that she had no idea she was going to feel this way, and had hoped that once we were together she’d feel that closeness again. But she said she still felt distant even when I was right beside her. I told her that it was obvious. We both had drank a bottle of wine to our selves and continued to discuss about what caused things to change. I stopped the conversation and started cleaning up our dinner saying that it’s getting late and I want to get to bed. I put the dishes away, brush my teeth and quickly go into bed and turn the lights off. She comes in shortly after saying she does not want to end this time together on a bad note, saying she does not want us to leave each other being upset. I told her that I am no more upset with her now than I was a week ago, and I waited till the last night to bring it up so we did not just argue the whole trip. Her eyes get red and she has desperation in her voice she says that she does not want me to feel like she’s breaking up with me or that she never wants to be with me again, she just knows she feels focused on herself now and can’t change her feelings in a week. My brow is frozen low and I’m blank staring into her eyes. I can’t shake being upset. She’s crying and tells me maybe when she gets back to Toronto things can be fine with us again, I tell her that I’ve kept myself from getting too close with any one else over the past 5 months because I did not want to hurt her or us, I was holding our relationship dear to me while she was pushing it away. She’s wiping her tears away and i’m telling her I an not going to go home and wait for her hoping she wants me in 3 months when she gets home. I said maybe we can date again but maybe well just be friends. She explained that it was easier for her to distance herself because she was in a new part of the world, and i was in the same places we were together sleeping in the same bed, going to the same bars and hanging out with her friends. Again I told her she was right. She crawled into bed and we fell asleep shortly after.

When I woke up I turned over to face her and said I was sorry for being difficult last night and making us not enjoy our last night together, even in our new found friendship relationship. I told her that even though we’re not in love I still love her. She came into my arms and told me she feels the same. She told me that she does not want this to be the end of our relationship she says it can just be a transformation, and maybe a temporary one. And she kisses me soft on my nose, my forehead and my lips. I kiss her back then she continues, she kisses me with her mouth open and licks at my lips with her tongue they way she knows I like it. I keep my mouth closed but keep our mouths together, after a few minutes of kissing she reaches for my dick. My heart and my head were still feeling distant but this girl makes me hard easier than anyone else, surely from a combination of being close to her again and the 4 months of not having sex, I had been getting extremely hard very easily and this was no exception. She slowly jerks me off and keeps making out with me kissing my neck and my closed mouth. I have my hands on her but they are not exploring or pleasing her, just resting on her body finally she asks “do you not want to have sex with me?” I was hoping we would have two weeks of amazing sex, we’d fucked three time and they all felt half hearted like a married couple who feels that sex is a chore and not an act of passion. I told her that I thought we were just going to be friends, I said she made me feel like she was not attracted to me any more. She said that was ridiculous to think and she still was, and she wanted to have sex me one last time before I leave, in my head I cut out the last three words of her sentence and thought regardless of what happened between us or other people, I’d like to have a good final memory of our time together and we can have such incredible sex it was better for me to go along with it then to stop her advances. I grabbed her hips and pulled her on top of me, I opened my mouth and starting making out with her in return our tongues finally touching. She lifts her hips up meaning she wants me to take off her pajamas and underwear, I oblige and slide them off, she grabs my hand and puts it between her legs and she is soaking wet. I used to love the feeling but I can’t snap myself into feeling excited. I instinctually rub her clit back and fourth as we continue to look into each others eyes and kiss, she slides my boxers off and continues to rub my cock. She crawls over me and puts her pussy in my face, she wants to 69. She starts taking my dick deep and licking my shaft with her new tongue ring. I circle her clit with my tongue and suck hard wanting to make her cum with my dick in her mouth. Even half hearted I love tasting her especially while she sucks my dick, I shove my tongue inside of her and she gasps. The head of my dick slips down the back of her throat and I slap her thigh and swear. I’m thinking about how much sex matters, if we would have just been able to be close and please each other like this we would have not felt distant. It’s too late to worry now so I bury my face between her legs and squeeze her clit between my lips and shove my tongue against her. She sits back and pushes her weight on my face for a way too short of time and crawls off of me, she says “I want to feel you inside of me” laying back feeling like I’m on an emotional roller coaster I tell her to mount me. I say I want to be as deep inside her as possible. She kneels over my hips with one hand on my chest the other holding my hard cock, she slides me easily into her and I watch as I disappear inside. She pushes her self down and tilts her hips towards me so that my dick pushes against the front of her stomach. She starts to grind her hips into me, and lift her self up and then slowly bring her self down. I admire how beautiful she is and stare into her eyes, I reach up to grab her head and pull her into me and kiss her freckled forehead and she continues to ride me. We’ve fucked so many times we both know exactly what the other wants, I hold her close and her hips are moving up and down faster, I nibble on her ear lobe and breath into her ear, she starts moaning and telling me how good I feel inside. I’m feeling more like a sex toy than a sex partner, but I play my role and start driving my hips up into her dripping wet pussy as she reaches her orgasm. She’s swearing and holding me close, I’m thinking this is the last time she’ll cum for me. I have the girl of my dreams coming to pick me up at the airport in 18 hours and now I have the girl who I considered my best friend 6 months ago giving her self to me one last time. She’s breathing heavy and her face is as red as it was last night when she was crying to me. She says I want to make you cum hard, she stands up on her feet and stands over me, giving me the view we both know I love. Even with my mind in other places I can appreciate the beauty of our bodies together, the veins in my cock are bulging and I can see the moisture from her pussy soaking her trimmed bush. She starts fucking me hard and asking if I’m close, i tell her no and say that I don’t want to cum cause I don’t want to stop. She tells me I have to and leans back squeezing her breasts together and keeps lifting her self up and down and driving her self hard onto my wet balls. She asks “how do you want to cum?” I don’t respond but I sit up and hold her in my arms, now she has her legs wrapped around my body and I’m sitting up with my legs spread out holding her close in my arms feeling her small breasts against my hairy chest. She keeps bucking her hips in to me and I am driving myself into her, she leans away so she can kiss my lips and face. I feel it building up in my balls, any second now I’m going to cum, I tell her I’m close and she goes faster and harder on top of me. I ask her where should I cum, and she says     “inside me, I want to feel your warm cum inside of me.” my heart beats fast and I’m relaxed enough to let go. I shoot my cum inside of her and can feel exactly what she wanted, I came but i did not have an orgasm. She knows this cause my body goes into convulsions when i orgasm and I twitch uncontrollably. This time I’m sitting straight not moving and squeezing her close, my emotions get the best of me as i feel overwhelmed and I start to cry in her arms. My tears are falling down my face and on to her shoulder, I tell her I’m sorry. I say I don’t mean to be crying but I feel like I miss her even though I’m inside her. She kisses my cheeks and tells me its ok. And she is going to miss me too, but is glad I came to visit her.  We separate our bodies and as she lifts her self up my cum pours out of her and onto my dick and chest. She says she is going to have a shower before school and I say ok and roll to my side, feeling distant and wondering if that was our last time.